Dreams Over Zero

Work in (Lack of) Progress

I’m in a bit of a creative funk lately. It’s not that I don’t have ideas–I have more ideas than I could ever complete in one lifetime. And it’s not that I’m not getting anything done–I do so much in a day that it’s driving me crazy.

The problem is that I don’t have the space or the solitude to do what I really want to do. The living situation right now has my husband and me crammed together in a basement (family stuff–it’s a long story that’s mostly none of your business). It’s a very nice basement, and we’re fine, thank you, but that means that someone is always here. I can’t do physical art when someone’s around me, even if they promise not to peek. I’m just too self-conscious about my work when it’s still raw.

Instead, I’m re-hashing all my old work online: all that stuff that I’ve been putting in my art blogs for years, and I am so tired of looking at it, and trying to get my Etsy shop going. (Someone from Australia bought a print last week! I hope they like it. Hello, Mr. Australian Customer, if you’re reading this!)

I’ve started so many websites lately. The computer is good for just that sort of thing, and my desk is the most private setting in the whole house, so at least I have the mental space to do mental art.

Husband (right behind me): Whatcha doing?
Me (quickly minimizing nine windows): Nothing.

But when I hit a wall with that, I’d love to be able to pick up a real brush and get away from the screen. What I really want to do lately is to make giant paintings and assemblages. To get my hands dirty with paint and gesso and sloppy texturizing compounds and glue, to play with the metal foil and the clay…but I just…can’t. Besides, our garage already looks like the Louvre warehouse, and we don’t have the room to store any more giant art.

The other day, in desperation, I started this piece in Photoshop (the “Liquify” filter is one of my favorite toys). I’m not sure where it’s going, but I like the cut of its jib.

Work in progress: squiggly black shapes with blue and purple glowing outlines

Someday I’m going to have my very own private studio in a creepy (but clean) basement, right next to my library and gaming table. When that day comes, and I still run into creative blocks, I will make up new excuses for not being able to work. Stay tuned.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.