November 06, 2008

Didn't They Told You to Do That Before You Left the House?

People who sleep in public make me nervous.

It's one of those things that I find inexplicably gross, like cold, wet porcelain. I don't mind seeing Corvin sleep, but really, anyone else, I try to look away. Sleep is such a private matter; seeing others do it makes me feel intrusive...except they're doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

A friend of mine won't watch other people eat, or eat in front of them. I can sympathize with that. It is kind of gross, when you think about it. I love eating at restaurants, though, so I don't think about it too much. But sleeping in public is pretty easy to avoid.

What blind trust! To place oneself in such a vulnerable position -- unconscious, no control, totally at the mercy of anyone walking by. What if you talk in your sleep, or make stupid faces? Or drool? What if they've got a knife? A chainsaw? A bowl of warm water?

No, no, no, I don't want to watch strangers sleeping. They make noises and movements like infants. Creepy. Please wake up.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 12:32 AM | | Comments (0)

November 02, 2008

I Do? You Do? Exactly what DO we Do, now?

The Best Halloween Ever

Thank you, Corvin. Now how am I supposed to think about anything else? I keep turning the words over in my head: "Fiance." "Wedding." "Married." "Wife." "Husband." It'll take me awhile to get the idea that those terms are now (or will be) pertinent to mY situation.

Honestly, I never thought it would happen. Unlike other little girls, I spent my time plotting world domination, not my wedding day. Now I have to come up with vows and think of locations and find an outfit and are we doing catering and this is NOT going to blow up into a Big Thing and who's coming and how are we going to get all that frog lard stuffed into the keyholes and weave all those dried intestines into decorative little baskets in time?

I just know I'm going to giggle throughout the whole ceremony.

********************************

THIS one! I want THIS one!!!

Corvinstein

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 10:35 PM | | Comments (0)

Nope, not me

Christ, but I hate not smoking. Why would a loving God create something so pleasurable, yet make it so bad for us? If you need evidence of God's sadistic nature, look to tobacco. Look also to aging. The older one gets, the greater the capacity to enjoy life...except for the deterioration of the body, the depletion of spare time, and the ever-present sense of impending doom.

The #1 leading cause of death is life.

Most people have children by now -- their own, or someone else's -- on which they've chosen to fixate. It's part of the Big Lie, along with television and shopping malls: everyone's hoping to be distracted from themselves. Kids allow them to pretend that something of themselves will go on after they die: they provide an illusion of immortality; a vicarious second chance...they give the illusion that something matters.

"How can you say that?!" huffs the indignant parent. "You'll never know the joy that children bring! Each one is a miracle, a marvel, a delight! Especially my own! You should have kids and then you'd know!"

And the religious nuts tell me their God is a miracle, a marvel, a delight, and that I should join the flock to know the joy he brings...I'm just not wired to join cults. Too selfish, I guess.

Money and freedom and the sensuous rush of Having Nice Things -- not something I'd want to trade for a handful of poop-diapers, attitude problems and lifetime obligations to someone else's entitlement complex.

Children provide a distraction from the dark meaninglessness of life -- but even distraction is an illusion. I'd sooner gaze into the Abyss.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 01:27 AM | | Comments (0)

October 26, 2008

NO WONDER

No wonder that I can't seem to focus on what I'm doing or finish anything that I start; every time I try to do anything, I have to stop in the middle of it and do something else! FUCK! I HATE THIS!

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 10:46 PM | | Comments (0)

October 22, 2008

The Blog that Time Forgot

It's official; I'm a 'net junkie. I just found a blog that I totally forgot I had started, back in 2004. Here are all the entries from it...

******************************************************

JANET JACKSON'S BOOBS

February 3rd, 2004 (08:06 am)

 

Oh, who cares.

Everyone's all upset about some jiggly flesh. They say that children should not be exposed to such horrible things. They're making a big huge deal out of a boob, all for the good of the children. The kids probably didn't even care. The adults are the ones losing their minds.

So, "good of the children" crowd, when was the last time you were in public and you saw a parent smack their kid, when the only thing the kid was doing wrong was acting like a kid? When was the last time you heard a parent cuss their child out? How many horror stories have we heard (and promptly forgotten, after shaking our heads in that slow, sad manner) about the kids that get locked in a basement for years and die of cold and starvation? Talk about "exposure". It's terrible to expose kids to some things. They can die of exposure to some things.

What did you do about it? For the good of the children?

Less than most of you want to see done about Ms. Jackson's boobs, I'll bet.

If more people were less willing to be so offended over so little, the kids would have a much better world in which to grow up.

Sorry this entry isn't that funny.

*********************************************

NOT THAT I'VE EVER WATCHED IT

January 21st, 2004 (09:38 am)

 

Spongebob Squarepants looks more like a piece of smiling cheeze.

"No!" you wail, "cheeze does not smile in Spongebob's happy way, nor do cheeze have shiny eyeballs!"

Neither does a !&$*#?! sponge.

*********************************************

AHHHH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!

January 18th, 2004 (06:40 am)

Are you one of those people who constantly complains that you're bored and that there's "nothing to doooooooo"?

I DON'T FEEL A BIT SORRY FOR YOU!

I don't remember what it's like to be bored!

There's a saying that goes, "If you're bored, it's only because you're boring."

If that's true, then I must be one of the most interesting people on the planet. Too bad no one else will ever get to find out how interesting I am, because I am always holed up in my house working on one or twenty of the very non-boring projects on my long, long list!

What if you're at work, and you're bored, but you're only bored because the work is boring and you can think of a lot of interesting things you'd rather be doing? That does not mean that you're boring, I don't think. It probably means that you're an artist. You should call me sometime, and we'll get together just as soon as I'm done doing all these interesting things.

*********************************************

I WOULD LIKE TO TOAST A PROPOSE

January 11th, 2004 (10:33 am)

I like melba toast. Got a box of it right here. The box tells me that it's melba toast. It tells me that it's garlic flavor. It tells me that it's fat free. Then it tells me to "log onto" the melba toast website.

Is everything on the 'net now?

Why would I want to go look at melba toast on the internet? For that matter, why do I need to log onto their site? That implies a special user account -- is it really that important? Will I need to return to the site again and again? Maybe I can join a melba toast discussion forum. Do I get a secret melba toast decoder ring?

Oh, oh, oh -- here's another thing on the box, over on the side -- they want me to buy a KIT. A melba toast KIT. Not to make my own melba toast, no. This kit will help me eat healthy (presumeably on a diet of mostly melba toast) because I certainly can't figure that out on my own. What do I get in the melba toast kit? Hmm...(crunch, crunch...read the box while eating)...looks like mostly refridgerator magnets, three of which will "steer you away from fatty cravings".

Now that would almost be worth the money! I'd like to see that -- I reach for the macaroons, and the Three Magneteers LEAP from the fridge door! Two of them nail my hand to the counter, while the third force-feeds me the melba toast. "NO! NO! NO COOKIE! EAT THE TOAST! THE TOAST, YOU FOOL!!!"

If you're waiting for me to tell you what I found on the melba toast website, too bad -- I'm not going to look. I get enough commercials just trying to get to the sites I want to see.

My god, it's just melba toast, people. Let it be.

P.S. Macaroons are not really that bad for you.

*********************************************

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:

January 8th, 2004 (11:28 am)

 

MR DUCKS

MR NOT DUCKS

MR 2 DUCKS

MR NOT DUCKS

OS M R!
CDWINGS? CDEDBDIS?

WHALE OIL BEEF HOOKED --
MR DUCKS!

*********************************************

BABIES SMELL BAD, YES THEY DO.

January 7th, 2004 (12:15 pm)

People who say that babies smell good are trying to make someone feel better about having the babies around. Babies smell like baby powder (not too bad by itself), liquid poo and regurgitated milk.

And the comment on this one...posted by Jymi X/0...

I agree whole-heartedly; babies do smell very, very bad. They don't get much better within the first few years of life; small children always smell like baby powder and Ravioli-Os. Disgusting.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 10:28 PM | | Comments (0)

October 16, 2008

There Should Be a Button

Here's what I've been doing lately:

http://www.cafepress.com/grix

Putting all my designs on T-shirts (!) and tote bags and coffee cups and all that crap. I have to re-size EVERY DAMN ONE because the program or whatever it is runs the design off the edge of just about everything. And it takes for EVER. Can't they make a button to just let me re-size it all at once? No, I guess they can't. But they should.

This is going to take awhile. If anyone sees something they want and I haven't got to that design yet, just let me know and I'll make a special trip over there just for you-ums.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 11:53 PM | | Comments (0)

October 03, 2008

Even better!

Lookit! I found another one!

Yes, Fuck-O-Xanthin!!

It doesn't get more powerful than whatever that is!

It's good, because it's from the sea, just like those deep-dwelling fish with all the teeth and the lights on their heads.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 09:59 PM | | Comments (0)

October 01, 2008

Before / After

Here's an ad that keeps showing up on my MySpace home page...

No, don't click it, it's just the graphic.

Now, am I seeing things, or is the body in the first picture way more attractive than the second one? The girl in the first picture is curvy and feminine. Frankly, the second picture looks like a guy. I bet it's not even the same person.

Try the new diet that turns you into a guy!

I just read a great quote the other day:

"Diets: First they take away everything you love, then they make you hate yourself."

I think the inducement to self-hatred kind of runs through our whole society. 

OMG! Let's eat right, exercise and quit buying into the bullshit!

Signing off for now -- gonna go get delicious cheezeburgers with a terrific guy who doesn't like rail-thin women that look more like 12-year-old boys.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 07:06 PM | | Comments (0)

September 28, 2008

In My Head

I was just reading through some of my old dream journals. Here's a peek into my subconscious from 7/27/2000...

Last night I dreamed...I was a member of the crew of a giant spaceship -- it was absolutely mamoth, and very very heavy. I could feel how heavy it was. We were in a time/space warp, having been sucked in and trapped there, "at the bottom of time". Our engines would be strong enough for us to escape, but everyone was worried that the ship's structure would not hold up under the great forces necessary for the thrust. I had it worked out, though, and I knew that if we just got going, the momentum would carry us out. it's dark at the bottom of time. There was, I now remember, a disk? doorway? of light there, but I don't think we noticed at the time, or we wouldn't be able to go through if we had. It kept changing positions. This is 'where space and time turned inside out'. I can see the grid pattern. We're at the very bottom point.

Meanwhile I'm living on the surface of the earth, too. There is some kind of celestial alignment going on, causing these pockets of space-and-time-turned-inside-out. They are cylindrical and light blue in color, shining from the inside out with a light blue light. There's one sitting on the sidewalk. People are acting mildly impressed, as if it's an art exhibit, as they walk by it. I'm trying to warn everyone that it's dangerous if they get too close (like they'll be sucked in if they cross the event horizon) but no one is really paying attention tome. But they're not trying to go in it, either. This is the one that I am also/was just trapped in.

Then S_______ and I are in a car, pulling into a parking lot around the corner from the space/time warp. There's another warp thing at the edge of the lot (it's parking for a small shopping plaza). Lisa L____ is standing next to it. I go up to her. The warp is smaller and weaker than the other one -- as the celestial alignment passes, these things are fading away. Lisa tells me that her husband S___ had stuck his arm in this one. We turned to look at him -- he could be seen in several dimensions: I can see three angles of hiim at once; they are dancing in a circle, and I know that the three of them together make up the one person. I can just see three of him, performing the circular, machine-like dance with himself.

The next part of the plot: S_______, it seems, has just returned from a long trip. It is her birthday, and she's received three marriage proposals: one from F____, and two from other guys I don't remember. She's upset because she didn't want marriage proposals for her birthday, and now she feels bad because she'll have to choose. I give her a scarf and some mittens for her birthday. They were hers already, but she had left them at my house so I gave them back to her.

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 01:20 PM | | Comments (0)

September 27, 2008

Ha Ha

Posted by Jymi X/0 at 09:18 PM | | Comments (0)